


Ace Traveling

by ramannoodles



Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-05 00:34:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 17,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3098402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramannoodles/pseuds/ramannoodles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ursula decides to take a year-long world-traveling trip, which means not seeing friends and family for an entire year.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Resolutions

Ursula felt a little sick, lying on her bed, her things packed, boxes scattered everywhere. She couldn’t believe this was actually happening, that she was leaving. But this would be good for her: she was going to travel the world! She should have been jumping up and down with excitement, but really she just felt like curling up on the floor and crying.

It had been a whim, really, applying for that photography and videography internship/job back in July. It was back when everyone was talking about what to do after graduation, whether to take a gap year or apply to uni or something else. Ursula knew her parents expected her to continue her schooling, but she just wasn’t sure. It wasn’t like she had a plan. She could go into business, like her dad, or become an engineer, like her mom. Everyone kind of expected her to go into the maths and sciences, because, well, that’s what Asians did, right? Ursula hated that stereotype. It wasn’t like she was bad at that stuff, but she knew in her heart that science wasn’t really her passion. But “taking silly pictures will not make you money” was the answer she got whenever she even hinted at becoming a photographer.

She was developing photos in her darkroom class when her teacher walked in and announced, “I have some information about internships,” and then gave a detailed explanation of all of them. There was one that stuck out to Ursula-there was a TV channel doing a year-long world travel documentary and wanted another photographer. They were going to pay for the work as well. She hadn’t actually planned on doing it, even though it sounded interesting, but she couldn’t help apply, no harm in doing that, right? It wasn’t like she was even going to get the internship, it required the most experience, and Ursula had very little, even with the couple videos she had made for YouTube.

Until two months later, when her acceptance letter came in the mail and her mom opened it.

“What is this? A photographing job! Ursula, why didn’t you tell me you applied for a job?” Which turned into a fight, which ended in a lot of tears, and Ursula didn’t really want to think about that. But finally her parents agreed it sounded like a good idea for a gap year and told her to take it.

And now it was New Year’s Eve. One hour until midnight. Her plane left in the morning. And it was just now hitting her that she wouldn’t see her best friends for a whole year. Balthazar and Meg were going to uni and Hero still had another year at Messina High. She felt the loneliness as if she were already gone. A knock at her door broke her out of her reverie, and Hero walked in.

“Hey, what are you still doing up here? Aren’t you going to come downstairs and celebrate the New – are you okay?” Hero had seen the look on Ursula’s face.

“Yeah, sorry, I just, I’m going to miss you guys.”

“We’re still going to be here when you come back, though! And you can call us anytime, you know that right?”

“A year is a long time.”

“That’s true, I mean a year ago, Bea was silently hating Ben from Wellington, Claudio was too nervous to talk to me, and everyone thought Pedro was straight. Now, Bea and Ben are dating, Claudio is too guilty to talk to me, and apparently Pedro is bi.”

Ursula laughed, “Apparently.”

“It was a good year.”

Ursula stared at her for a second, “How can you say that, even after your birthday fiasco?”

“I learned a lot about myself, I learned about everyone else too. Except not about you, you pretty much did exactly what I expected of you. How did you manage to stay out of everything?”

Ursula smiled, “Oh well, I wouldn’t say I stayed out of everything. More like subtly made sure things turned out okay.”

“Of course you did,” Hero shook her head. “But even with all of that, we’re still friends. A year maybe a long time, but I guarantee when you get back, we’ll still be as close as before.”

“Maybe I should keep a New Year’s Resolution, just in case. Make sure to phone you guys once a month.”

“Good plan. Mine is to speak my mind more often.”

“Smart. Why don’t you head downstairs? I’ll be there in a second, I just have to write down the resolution.”

Hero left and Ursula, feeling slightly more at ease, picked up her journal that was sitting on top of her suitcase, opened it up to the first page and wrote down her resolution under her others “try something new in every country you visit” and “be honest with yourself.”


	2. Birds

Ursula was sitting on the plane, totally ready for what was to come. She wasn’t actually going to meet the rest of the team until she got to Queensland, Australia, the first stop on the world tour. They were going to be doing some scuba diving and talking about the Great Barrier Reef.  
Ursula tried to fall asleep before the plane took off, she didn’t want to deal with her motion sickness right now, but her head was still filled with thoughts from the New Year Party. Well, one thought really, more like a picture, one that was imprinted into her brain. After heading downstairs with Hero, but before her friends had hugged her goodbye and gave her presents so that she wouldn’t feel so lonely while she was away. When the clock had struck midnight. When Ursula found herself being glared at by none other than Meg Winters.  
It was a pretty well known fact amongst their friend group that Ursula was asexual. She had stopped trying to hide that years ago, but it wasn’t until recently that Ursula had kind of come out as panromantic. She hadn’t been meaning to hide it or anything, but it hadn’t been such a big deal to her, she wasn’t really interested in anyone, so no need to talk about it, right? As it turned out, it ended up being a big deal to Meg because about ten minutes after she found out, Meg asked Ursula out.  
Ursula loved Meg, but dating her ended up not going so well. It wasn’t that Meg was a bad girlfriend or anything, but Meg was just very interested in sex in her relationships, and Ursula, obviously, wasn’t. Meg didn’t pressure her, but she would make jokes about it and talk about it and it made Ursula uncomfortable, like she would never end up being good enough for Meg. Things just ended up being too much for Ursula and after about a month of dating, she called it quits. Hence the glaring. Ursula was still trying to be Meg’s friend, but this had pretty much solidified her leaving. She hoped that by the time she got back that Meg would be over her. And that she would be over Meg, because her heart still hurt. This was part of the reason for her second resolution “be honest with yourself” because she had known in the back of her mind, before dating Meg, that it wouldn’t work out. She knew that it would end in heartache, but she didn’t want to believe it. Part of it was that she didn’t feel like she could call herself panromantic if she had never been a relationship. It was like she was a fraud or something. But honestly, she should have just listened to herself; she should have waited until she was sure she wanted to be in a relationship before entering one. Because now Meg hated her. Well, that wasn’t entirely true, it seemed like Meg was trying to be her friend too, but she just couldn’t   
But you can’t go back in time. Although, Benedick had gotten her a fake time-turner as a going away present, it was supposed to be so that she could “go back in time to memories of them”. She laughed at that, shifting her thoughts to happier memories. She and Benedick had never been that close, and any real conversation that the two of them had had alone always revolved around Harry Potter or birds. Sometimes Ben would point out birds to her and she would take pictures for him. She had promised him some pictures of birds from her trip; he had even given her a list based off of places she was going, which Bea had scoffed at. But Ursula didn’t mind, it would be good practice anyway, and it would be something to put on her blog since she didn’t know how much time she would have to update that.  
What Ursula needed right now was to focus on the present. She couldn’t keep thinking about her friends if she wanted to have fun on this trip. It was going to be fine, her friends would be her friends when she got back. That was the thought she kept repeating in her head as she finally fell asleep.


	3. Breakfast

3 hours later, Ursula woke with a start, and groggily made her way off the plane, got her things (one carry-on, plus her camera bag, not too much since they were going to be doing so much plane travel), and got a cab to the hotel to meet the team and get breakfast.

“You’re late” a voice called out as she entered the hotel. The voice belonged to a young man, college-aged. “Well, I mean, not actually late, but late for breakfast. The rest of the team’s already left for the beach. I’m Kyle, by the way. The director told me we weren’t start anything for another two hours and we were still waiting on you. If you want, you can put your things in your room and then come join me for breakfast before we head down there?”

“Yeah, sure that sounds good,” Ursula tried to sound nonchalant, setting her camera bag down next to him. This guy kind of looked like the type of people she avoided, like a hipster-y pretentious dude-bro with the idea in his head that his photography was new and unique. But she thought maybe she should just let it go, seeing as she was going to be working with this guy for a whole year. She got the keys from the front desk, stashed hers stuff in the room, took a brief shower so she didn’t smell like the plane, and headed back down.

“So, where are you from?” Kyle asked, as Ursula sat down at the table, her plate filled, she hadn’t eaten anything at last night’s party, since she was too nervous, so her last meal had been over 12 hours ago.

“Auckland,” she replied, a little curt, hoping his next sentence wasn’t going to be the one she dreaded.

“Okay, okay, cool, I’m from Wellington.”

Ursula nodded; too busy chewing to actually respond.

“I took a look at some of your work, you’re really good.”

“Thanks,” Ursula responded, slightly startled.

“I mean, you know you’re the youngest person on the team, right? You just turned eighteen.”

“I didn’t know that, actually. How do you know all of this about me?” Ursula was slightly frightened.

“Oh, um, well, I know one of the girls who works for the channel, and she helped look through applications for the job. She told me about you, sorry if this is weird, if you want you can ask me questions to make up for it?” He seemed more apologetic and nervous now, like maybe he wished he hadn’t said anything to her at all.

Ursula knew she had that effect on people sometimes, especially when she met them for the first time, like she intimidated them or something. She was trying not to make him feel bad though, he didn’t seem to be that bad. “How old are you?”

“20. I’m taking a year off from uni for this, and then maybe I’ll head back for my degree.”

“Oh, what were you studying?”

“Business. It’s like a back up career if this photography thing doesn’t go so well, you know?”

“Oh, so like management or something? Yeah, I don’t really know if that’s for me.”

“You ready to go?” Kyle asked.

“Yup!”

“Great, I’ll lead the way then!”


	4. Introduction

When Ursula got down to the beach, Kyle introduced her to the five other members of the team, Zach, Maia, Hannah, Patrick, and Tai. As they headed down to get some training on scuba diving with their cameras and information about what they were to expect, Maia turned to Ursula.

“So, you’re the internship kid.”

“Yeah, I guess I am.” Ursula glanced toward her, she was tall and tanned, probably also college-aged.

“Hmm, well, hope you can keep up.”

“I will,” Ursula replied, sounding more confident than she felt. After all, fake it ‘til you make it, right? Maia seemed impressed, anyway.

“Well, make sure if you’re having any problems to come to one of us photographers first, don’t bug Zach unless it’s something super important, okay? He’s gonna be pretty busy directing everyone and stuff”

“Got it.”

The rest of the workday was spent learning how to use the scuba diving gear and talking to some of the animal experts and scientists that worked on the beach. Ursula was fascinated by how passionate these people were about the reef, and ended up taking more video of them talking about the fish than pictures of the actual reef. She figured that although none of the video would end up in the documentary, it could be interesting. Maybe she could send some of this to Ben, he had to like more than just birds, right?

“You know that they already have a script that they’re going to use for the doco, right?” Patrick laughed when he caught her filming.

“Yeah, I just thought it was interesting is all,” Ursula tried to shrug him off, feeling uncomfortable.

“Ahh, I get it, you’re one of those tree-hugger types, aren’t you? You want to hear about all the species of fish and then go back home and talk about how we’re ruining the environment and whatnot.” He sneered.

“Leave her alone, Pat, she’s allowed to film when she wants, it’s not like it all has to be for the doco,” Tai interjected, glaring at Patrick until he backed off. “Sorry about him, he’s not exactly the nicest person.”

“Yeah, I got that. Thanks.” Ursula flashed a smile in his direction and then went back to her camera, then looked up suddenly. “Actually, I was wondering, if we have time, am I allowed to ask the, umm, the people that work here some questions?”

“Yeah, sure, we’ll be done before dark, sometime around seven, but I’m sure they’d be more than happy to stay and answer questions. Plus they’ll be around for the next few days while we’re taking pictures and stuff.”

“Cool.”

She did end up talking to them and getting some more of their knowledge on tape, she didn’t know what she was going to use this for, but she figured she could use some of her down time on the trip to practice her editing skills.

For dinner, the team had a welcome dinner of sorts, in a really nice restaurant. Ursula was really glad all her meals were paid for, because she definitely wouldn’t have been able to afford anything more than water otherwise. Everyone seemed pretty welcoming, (except Patrick who was still making snide comments about Ursula’s photography for who knows what reason) and Zach even offered to take a look at some of Ursula’s videos after she’d edited them, give her some feedback. If things kept going this way, Ursula was sure this trip was going to be a success.


	5. Watching

By the end of the first week, Ursula was really getting the hang of working with the team, although she had spent a lot of time watching the others do their work. Zach had let her know after the first day that these first couple of weeks she (and Kyle) could shadow the others, get a feel for what they knew and how they worked with people, since they had done this before, but it was pretty clear to everyone that Ursula was a quick learner. Tai was nice enough to take her under his wing for the first day and teach her a couple things before letting her do her own thing. Maia had looked over some of her photos too, after the day was over, and would give her some tips on how to fix some of the problems.

“I’m proud of you guys, these photos look great!” Zach seemed pretty excited. “I haven’t had much time to look at the videos, but I uploaded them and sent them to editing and from what I can tell, they seem pleased. I don’t think we’re going to need to go back in tomorrow, or if we do, not for more than an hour, so feel free to celebrate tonight!”

Everyone was all smiles as they got up and decided on a plan for the night.

Zach stopped Ursula for a second, to say, “Good work this week, we’ll probably use some of your stuff for the channel, you should be proud. It’s rare for the newbie to get a shot in their first week on the job,” before heading off to his room with a yawn.

Maia tapped Ursula on the shoulder, “I think we’re heading to a club, you wanna join?”

“Yeah, no, I’m feeling a bit tired, I think I’m going to stay in if that’s alright,” Ursula had decided now was the time to go Skype with Balthazar and Hero for a bit, say hi let them know how things were going.

“Suit yourself,” she replied, looking slightly disappointed.

“I bet you’re pretty excited to go back to your hometown, aren’t you? Probably meet some family.” Pat intruded.

“What are you talking about? We’re going to Palawan next.”

“Yeah, it’s in Asia. You’ll be able to translate for me, you speak Chinese, right?” he continued, as though he didn’t even realize he was being racist.

“Dude, what the heck?” Kyle stepped in, to Ursula’s surprise.

“What?”

“You do realize they don’t speak Chinese in the Philippines, right?” Ursula spoke up.

“What do they speak there then?”

“Learn how to use Google,” Kyle responded. Patrick gave him a ‘what’s your problem?’ look before storming off, clearly not wanting to deal with a fight right at that moment.

“Hey, thanks for that,” Ursula said, turning to Kyle.

“Yeah, no problem, I hate having to deal with racists who don’t think they’re racist.”

“You deal with them that much?” she asked.

“Yeah, I mean, I’m half Maori, so…”

“Got it! They really amped up the diversity on this trip, didn’t they?”

“Yeah, well, the channel kind of made them. Said they needed it for better ratings or something, to make them look good. Apparently, Zach was pretty happy about that, since it meant that we got the best photographers for the trip. Anyway, have a nice night!”

“Thanks, you too!” Ursula said, heading for her room.


	6. Makeup

Two weeks later, late in the night, Ursula was huddled up in the bathroom so as not to disturb her roommate, Kyle, while talking to Hero and Balthy again.

“Ursula, are you wearing makeup?” Hero squinted at her blurry face on the computer screen.

“Umm, yeah, I might’ve put some on,” Ursula replied.

“What for?” Balthazar asked, “You don’t usually do that. Oh, have you met someone?”

“What, no! I mean, not really,” Ursula denied.

“Not really? What’s that supposed to mean?” Hero asked.

“I mean, I’m not wearing it to impress anyone. But like I have met people. Anyway, if you want I’ll recount the last two weeks to you, and then explain the makeup bit.”

Ursula recounted her week in Palawan, Philippines and on Komodo Island, Indonesia, both of which, like Queensland, had been wonderful. She and Kyle had become pretty good friends. Kyle even admitted that they were agender, which Ursula thought was pretty brave for knowing each other three weeks. She was glad they trusted her, it made her feel like she had someone she could really depend on this trip.

“So, anyway, you know how last time I ended up Skyping you guys instead of going out? Well, this time Maia and Tai kind of roped me and Kyle into hanging out with them. Said it would be good for me. Maia ended up doing my makeup, and Kyle-oh did I tell you their real name is Kauri and they go by Kyle because they were bullied in school and now it’s just kind of stuck?-anyway, Kyle helped me pick out my outfit for the night, it was nice.”

“So who did you meet?” Hero seemed particularly interested in that part.

“Oh, just some random people in the club, no one important.”

“So, you just dressed up for fun, right? It wasn’t for anyone?”

“You sure it wasn’t for Tai, Ursula,” Balthy smirked. “Or Maia? You seem to talk about her an awful lot.”

“No! I mean, Tai and Maia are both nice, but I don’t know. Plus both of them are older than me.”

“Not by much,” Hero said, kind of sulkily.

“Let’s stop talking about this. Balthy, how are things going with you and Pedro?”

“Oh you know, better. I mean, he’s finally agreed to actually date me like properly? Things are a lot better with Bea now, you know, he’s finally gotten over her. He really needed that time to get away from her, I think, to really get back to being friends with her. It was hard for a while, though, knowing that she would be such a big part of his life after he’d liked her so much, but I think it’ll be okay now. Or well, I guess we’ll see, we have our first date tomorrow.”

“That’s great! Yeah, he was really head-over-heels for Bea, wasn’t he? How are Bea and Ben, by the way?” Ursula directed this question to Hero. “Still arguing all the time? Making sure you can never hear the TV when you’re watching?”

Hero laughed, “Yeah, no their great! They’ve been arguing slightly less when I’m around, although I can hear them bickering away from upstairs when they’re alone. But that’ll be over once school starts. Ben’ll be off to uni, so Bea won’t see him nearly as much. She’s really sad about it, but you know she won’t admit it.”

“Those two dorks.” Ursula smiled, shaking her head.

“Oh! Ben told me to tell you that he’s really enjoying all the bird posts you’ve been making on your blog! He doesn’t know if you check your tumblr enough to see that he’s reblogged each one with like seven million facts about birds, so he wanted me to tell you that as well.”

“Good! I haven’t really had much time to check tumblr, so I’m glad you let me know! I’ve been busy editing the photos and the videos and stuff.”

“Oh yeah, did that Zach guy end up checking out your video footage?” Balthy interjected. “I know you said he’s been pretty positive about your stuff, but-”

“Yeah, actually I think he really likes some of the stuff I recorded, like the extra questions I’ve asked, he thinks they might use it as like bonus videos on the website they’re creating. But, I guess don’t tell anyone I said that, because we’re not sure, and he doesn’t want me to get my hopes up quite yet.”

Balthy could tell Ursula was excited, even though the average person wouldn’t have been able to tell, certainly not Hero tonight, who was distractedly moody, they wondered if they should ask her about it after the Skype hangout was over. Probably not. That probably wouldn’t go well.

Ursula, on the other hand seemed happier than she had in a long time, judging by how much she was talking, “Anyway, tomorrow Maia wants to go on this tour thing-”

“Hey Urs? I’m actually feeling pretty tired,” Hero yawned. “Sorry, I know it’ll be probably a while before we talk again, but I think I really should go to bed.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Ursula replied. “Balthy do you-”

“No, I can stay for a while. Good night Hero!”

“Night guys!” Hero logged off.

“You okay?” Balthazar asked, seeing Ursula’s hurt expression.

“Yeah, I just, Hero seems so distant with me all of a sudden, did I do something?” she asked.

“I don’t think so, I think she probably just misses you.”

“It’s weird though. Like she was my best friend-outside of you, obviously. And now, I just feel like I’ve lost her. Plus Meg is still upset and I just, I don’t know.”

“It’ll be fine, don’t worry about it. You’ve still got me no matter what. Plus Kyle seems nice!”

“Yeah, you’d really like them!”

“So tell me about this tour Maia has planned.”

Ursula put the thoughts about Hero in the back of her mind and talked about her plans for tomorrow. But she reminded herself to think about it a little more later, to be honest with herself about the whole situation. Hopefully that would clear things up.


	7. Hypothetically

“Hey Maia! What’s up, where’s Tai?” Ursula asked, coming down for breakfast one morning, a few weeks later.

“Oh, you know, out.”

“Out where? It’s like eight in the morning.”

“Umm, so he may not have come home last night,” Maia said, refusing to look at Ursula.

Ursula laughed, “Oh, was it that guy from the bar?”

“What guy from the bar?” Maia hedged.

“Come on, it was so obvious.”

“Really?” Maia looked surprised.

“Yeah, Tai couldn’t stop staring at him, it’s not rocket science.”

“Kyle didn’t get the hint last night though, after you and Hannah left, I tried to get him to walk back here with me. He kept saying we should wait for Tai before coming back. I practically had to pull him out of there.”

Ursula flinched a little at when Maia misgendered Kyle, and had to keep reminding herself that Maia didn’t know that she was misgendering them.

“Ursula, are you okay?” Maia asked suddenly.

“Yeah, why?”

“I’m not sure, actually, I just feel like there’s something off with you.”

Ursula was about to deny it, but decided maybe Maia could help her. “So let’s say hypothetically, your best friend was upset with you and you didn’t know why, what would you do?”

“Ask them why they’re upset.”

“Right, but like, hypothetically let’s say they’re also not responding to any of your messages and are basically avoiding talking to you.”

“Ursula, what did you do?” Maia seemed shocked.

“Nothing! Or at least, I don’t think I’ve done anything,” Ursula turned to her plate, dejectedly. “I don’t know, maybe I have done something. I just don’t know what I could have possibly done. All I know is, New Year’s Eve, she and I were getting along just fine. She was happy enough when we said bye for a whole year. I mean obviously not ecstatic, but we both agreed it’s just a year, it’ll be fine. Actually, she even seemed okay when I called her the first week. But then suddenly she’s mad at me like I’ve done something wrong.”

“But only hypothetically, right?” Maia asked, in an attempt to cheer Ursula up.

Ursula tried to smile, although she couldn’t quite make herself, “Yeah, only hypothetically.”

“Well, hypothetically, maybe she thinks you’ve made a new best friend?” Maia tried.

“A new best friend? No, Hero wouldn’t be upset about that, I have lots of best friends. She’s never been upset about that before.”

“Maybe she’s just upset that you’re having a good time without her.”

“Hmm, maybe,” Ursula didn’t seem convinced.

“Come on, it’s probably the first time she’s seen you so happy without her.”

“So happy without her…you know what, that could be it! Balthazar was saying how I seemed happier on this trip than I did when I was back at home, maybe Hero thinks it’s her fault or something that I was unhappy before.”

“Or maybe she thinks if you’re so happy here, you won’t come back to her.”

Ursula jumped up and hugged an unsuspecting Maia, “You’re a genius, thanks Maia!”

“Whoa, whoa calm down there, what happened to you? Isn’t this a little too much emotion for you?” Maia teased.

“Sorry, I’m just really happy. Once I explain to Hero that I’m just excited to be doing something different and that by the time I get back home I’ll probably be more than ready to just stay there, everything will be back to normal. We’ll be best friends again.”

Maia smirked at her, “Friends…right.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Maia said with a shrug. “Nothing at all.”

“No, really, what did you mean?”

“Well, hypothetically, it seems like you’re more excited than you should be about patching things up with your best friend. Especially because I’ve never seen you quite this excited, not even when Zach told you that they’re using your videos for the website and if you continue to do this well, you’d probably have a job with the channel for as long as you wanted. And you actually seemed pretty excited then.”

“Are you saying that I shouldn’t be excited about being able to talk to my best friend again?”

“No, I’m saying that, hypothetically, maybe you need to think about your relationship with whatshername. Hero, did you say? That’s a weird name.”

“My relationship with her is that she’s my best friend, didn’t I say that already?”

“Didn’t you also say that one of your New Year’s Resolutions was to be honest with yourself?”

“Okay, okay, I’ll think about it. But not right now, right now, we need to get going, I really do want to sightsee for a while.”


	8. Crime

As it turned out, Ursula didn’t end up figuring out what was wrong with Hero, not right away, anyway. That day, she and Maia had gone around sightseeing; Ursula really enjoyed this part of the visit to each new city. She brought her extra camera and snapped pictures of the sights, the people who lived there, and the tourists.

She was keeping her promise to do something new in each country, sometimes while she worked and sometimes on these little sightseeing adventures. Going scuba diving, zip-lining, rock climbing, walking into restaurants and ordering something she’d never heard of, taking a tour of a history museum backwards, etc. Some of it was adventurous, some of it wasn’t, but it certainly was giving her a different perspective on things.

She knew to be careful though, tourist areas tended to bring out the pickpockets of the world, regardless of where you lived. She hid her money carefully. She made sure her camera was practically stuck to her body so that no one could take it from her (and she always had a fresh memory card in it, of course, no need to lose old pictures if her camera did end up stolen.) She never put anything in her jean pockets, and made sure her purse was difficult to open.

Unfortunately, that didn’t stop crime from happening. Maybe if it hadn’t been nine at night, if they had gotten back to the hotel earlier. Maybe if they had brought Kyle and Tai with them, instead of going alone. Maybe if-but it happened.

An hour later, back in the hotel, Ursula sobbed over the phone, “Oh my gosh, Balthazar it was terrible, I didn’t know what to do. The guy had a knife and I was so scared, he didn’t seem to care about the money, he had us cornered and it was terrible. I don’t know what I would’ve done if the police hadn’t heard me screaming. I thought I was going to die. I thought he killed Maia; there was blood everywhere and I was so freaked out. I really need to talk this out and you know I can’t call my parents, so please call me back when you get this message okay?” The night had really scarred Ursula. She hung up the phone and breathed in and out, calming herself down.

Two minutes later her phone rang, “Ursula?”

“Hero? Why are you calling?” Ursula asked, stifling her urge to start sobbing again.

“Umm, well, you accidentally called me instead of Balthazar. They’re on a date with Pedro tonight anyway, so I thought maybe I should just call you back instead of bothering them. Are you okay? You’re not hurt are you?” Hero sounded really worried

“No, I’m fine, I mean physically okay,” Ursula.

Hero let out a sigh of relief, “Good, and is Maia okay? She’s not actually dead, right?”

“No, she’s okay, a couple of scratches here and there. We had to go to the hospital to make sure, but she’s fine now.”

“Good, I’m so glad you guys are alright.”

“Me too,” Ursula whispered, and after that she couldn’t really stop the tears. They ended up staying on the phone for the next hour or so, Hero just comforting Ursula, Ursula attempting to tell Hero the whole story.

After that, Ursula did call Balthazar, asked them about their date (things were going quite well, apparently) and then recounted her night to them.

“Hey, Urs, are you sure you don’t want to come home? You seem really upset, I feel like continuing your world tour like nothing happened isn’t really going to help,” Balthazar asked. They normally wouldn’t have done this, but then again they had never seen (well, heard) Ursula like this before.

“No, no, I just needed to talk about it.”

“Again? After you just talked to Hero?” Balthazar asked. “Not that I mind,” they added hastily.

“Yeah. But I’m okay now, I promise.”

“Okay, if you’re sure then it’s fine, I guess.”

“You know not to tell my parents, right? If they find out, they’ll definitely make me come back home.”

“They can’t make you come home, Urs, you’re 18, you can do whatever you want.”

“They won’t care.”

Balthazar sighed, “Yeah, okay. I won’t tell them. But you will eventually have to tell them.”

“Yeah, when I have a stable job and live far away from them in like ten years, then I’ll tell them.”

“Ursula, seriously.”

“I know, but not right now. Not right after they’ve given me my freedom. I can’t let them take it away from me.”

“It’s not your fault though. Why would they punish you for that?”

“They wouldn’t see that as a punishment.”

“Fair enough. Hey, Ursula?”

“Yeah?”

“Promise me you’ll give yourself some time to get over this?”

“Okay Balthy, I will. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”


	9. Magic

Ursula had become overly cautious after that night, never going sightseeing without at least two people next to her, a pair of random keys she bought at a shop clutched tightly in her hands whenever it was dark in any city, mace in her pocket (if the country she was in allowed it) just in case. She tried not to let it take over, but she knew she couldn’t forget about it either. Trying to find a balance was difficult, though.

The good thing about that night, even though Ursula could never really see anything about that night as truly good, was the Hero was talking to her again. Like nothing had been wrong at all. Ursula knew she shouldn’t just let that happen, that she should ask Hero what had been going on, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She was worried Hero would stop talking to her again, she was worried that it would make things fall apart, and anyway, who was she to question the fact that Hero was no longer upset?

Ursula sometimes believed that magic was real. Not like spells and curses or things like that, as much as she loved Harry Potter and wished that world was real. She felt like sometimes magic was real in the little things. When there was exactly one cup of juice left in the carton. When it was raining outside, but it stopped right before she had to leave the house. When Dogberry and Verges had been filming right when John handed Robbie the money before Hero’s birthday last year. When Pedro’s rejection from Beatrice had coincided with Ursula’s inability to handle Ben and Bea fighting anymore, so that she could pretend the idea had been his without anyone knowing. When she accidentally called Hero instead of Balthy. When Balthy had been on a date and Hero had called back instead of calling them.

Ursula rejected the idea of a higher power, or that things always happened for the best. If that were true, no truly terrible things would ever happen, there would be world peace, no one would be hungry, etc. But sometimes she pretended. Wouldn’t it be easier just to believe in that? Sometimes Ursula wanted to believe. But wanting to believe does not equate to actually believing. If it did, that would be real magic.


	10. Party

 Ursula couldn’t believe she had been gone for more than 2 months, things passed so quickly. 9 countries in 9 weeks. The team was trekking through Europe now, although this portion of the trip was going much quicker, only a few days in each area, taking some pictures of really old, not quite as famous architecture and moving along, going through rural areas, maybe taking a day in major cities to sightsee. It wasn’t that Europe didn’t have beautiful things to see, but that it was known for those things, so they were so well known, the channel felt it best not to give too much airtime to European countries.

Hero was really missing Ursula, not that she would admit that out loud. Everyone knew she missed Ursula, but no one knew just how much. It was like Hero was a totally different person without her best friend around. Everyone was leaving for uni and Hero wasn’t sure she could handle being alone.

Usually it was around this time that the group would get together for a party. For Meg’s birthday. But Meg was off at uni and anyway, she wasn’t really in the mood for parties anymore. Hero wondered if there was something else she could do to cheer Meg up? But anyway, things seemed weird without Ursula to help her set the party up. Usually the two of them would get together and plan things out, where the party would be, who to invite, what to make, if they needed to buy anything extra. Meg got final say, of course, but Meg liked to be treated like a queen on her birthday, which meant she never wanted to do the actual work.

This year, there was none of that. If Hero wanted to throw a party, she would have to do it on her own. And that would probably end up making Meg feel worse. Hero wasn’t sure how in love Meg had been, but she didn’t want to remind her that Ursula was gone.

So instead, Hero just wallowed in her loneliness, hoping something would come along to make her feel better.


	11. Sleepover

“Hey Hero, hey Balthy, what have you guys been up to? How’s school?” Ursula asked over Skype. It had been a while since they last talked, so she figured that a good hour or two of catching up was needed.

“School’s pretty good,” Balthazar responded. “Been recording some more music videos. You’d be proud, Ben and Pedro have gotten much better at filming. They could, however, use some of your editing skills.”

“Yes, Ursula, I had no idea how much time you spent editing your videos until we attempted to film our picnic the other day. I don’t even know where to begin with the footage!”

“If you send it over, I could probably edit it for you,” Ursula offered with a laugh.

“Nah, that’s okay,” Hero replied. “We should at least try to figure it out for ourselves. Speaking of we, Meg’s here.” She added as Meg stepped behind Hero into the camera’s view.

“Hey Urs, how’s your trip been? We really miss you!” Meg waved, trying to make herself look as good as possible for the camera.

“Hey Meg! My trip has been great so far! It’s been such an experience, and I’m loving every minute of it. What are you doing over at the Dukes?” Ursula asked.

“Oh, just Hero, Bea and I thought we’d have a sleepover since none of us were here for my birthday like we normally are.”

“Yes, but Bea had conveniently left her sweatshirt at Ben’s house, so she’s gone to go get it. She probably won’t be back for a while, so it’s just me and Meg right now.”

“Yeah, she’s gonna be gone for a while, if you know what I mean.” Meg smiled, raising her eyebrows at Ursula.

“Okay, okay, I really didn’t want to hear about that,” Balthazar interjected. “Umm, maybe I’ll catch up with you later, Ursula? So then you guys can hang out and do your sleepover talk without me?”

“Sure, I’ll call you later.”

As soon as Balthazar left, Meg asked, “So, have you met anyone there?”

“If by have I met someone you mean do I like someone romantically, the answer is no,” Ursula responded.

“But Meg has,” Hero said.

Meg gasped a little and then angrily whispered, “I told you not to say anything, I didn’t want to tell her right now.”

Hero turned to Meg, then, and said loudly, “Meg, she has a right to know, she’s your friend. And if it were up to you, you would never have mentioned anything at all.” She turned back to Ursula, “I’m going to let the two of you talk this out. I’ll be back in 15 minutes.”

“So…this is awkward,” Meg tried.

“No, it’s not, you met someone that’s great!” Ursula _was_ happy for her.

“I mean, you broke up with me and I was devastated, but we weren’t working out and I knew that and you knew that, and that’s why we broke up, right?” Meg blurt out. “So we’re allowed to meet new people and stuff.”

“Yeah.”

“Look, Ursula I’m sorry if I’ve hurt your feelings by moving on.”

“You haven’t Meg, I’m fine.”

“I know you say that, but I am still sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.”

“What for?”

“For, you know…breaking your heart? Breaking mine,” Ursula hadn’t wanted to say that out loud. “I never should have said yes to dating you in the first place, now things are weird.”

“They don’t have to be.”

“Yeah, they do. They have to be weird for a while,” Ursula smiled. “Because it meant something, obviously.”

“Well, at least we both had some time apart, I think that helped.”

“It did.”

“You seem really happy, I’m glad you took this trip.”

“You seem happy too. Who’s the lucky person, by the way?”

“Oh, just this person from my school, their name is Georgia. You’ll love them.”

“Everything better now?” Hero stepped back into the room.

“Yup, so Hero you didn’t tell me how school was going.”

The conversation was better after that. They talked long into the night, just like old times, and Bea showed up halfway through and got a fair bit of heckling from the three of them for doing basically what she had mocked Meg for doing at their last sleepover. For a while, Ursula thought things really were back to normal.


	12. Olives

A week later, as Ursula plopped on her bed after another long week, her phone started ringing. _Balthazar_ , the screen read.

“Hey Balthy, what’s up? I thought we were Skyping today?”

“Pedro broke up with me,” they replied, voice monotone.

“What?”

“He broke up with me, Ursula.”

“Why?”

“I’m not really sure.” Their voice conveyed no emotions whatsoever.

“Okay, well what happened? Start from the beginning.”

Balthazar was silent a minute. When they spoke again, they spoke softly and slowly, pausing constantly, “Well, we went on another date, just out for dinner at a nice restaurant. I thought things were going pretty well between us. He’s been over Bea for a while, they’re finally getting along again, back to being friends or whatever. And he seems excited to be with me, happy, I thought. We’re talking about everything, the latest book he’s read, the movie I watched yesterday with Tony, what it would be like to visit outer space. Then next thing I know, the waiter comes over with the salad, Pedro says something about olives, then says this isn’t working out and that we shouldn’t see each other anymore.”

As Balthazar was talking, Ursula was messaging Hero, asking, no, begging her to make some chocolate chip snickerdoodles and grab a funny movie and go over to Balthazar’s since she couldn’t be there.

“That’s it? A remark about olives and he bails on you? What did he say about olives?”

“Something about how olives are an acquired taste.”

“None of this makes any sense.”

“Hang on, Urs, someone’s at the door, one sec.”

A minute later, “Hero’s here with some cookies and a movie. How did you get her over here so fast? You couldn’t have had more than 10 minutes to contact her.”

“Actually, I wasn’t expecting her to be there yet,” Ursula was a little confused, she’d only sent her a message five minutes ago, there was no way Hero had made cookies and gotten over there in five minutes.

“Oh, Hero says she’d just finished making cookies anyway, that’s why she got here so fast.”

“In that case, why don’t you two enjoy a nice night in. I’m sorry I can’t do more.”

“It’s okay Urs, I know you’d be here if you could.” Balthazar sighed. “I miss you, I know I don’t really say that much, but I really miss you. I wish you’d come back. Things are weird without you. No one knows how to function without you overseeing everything.”

“I miss you too,” Ursula didn’t know what else to say.

She thought about calling Pedro and yelling at him, but that wouldn’t do much good from over here. Instead, she called Ben and explained the situation.

“You have to go talk to Pedro.”

“Why me?”

“Because he’s your best friend.”

“Why can’t Bea do it?”

“You think that’s a good idea? Pedro just got over her.”

“Okay, fair enough, but do I have to?”

Ursula sighed, “No, you don’t have to.”

At that, Ben paused, Ursula never did this, she usually found a way to make things work in her favor. She wouldn’t blackmail per say, but she would guilt trip, like “aren’t we friends? I’ve been taking bird pictures for you, can’t you do this for me?” except never so bluntly. She always knew how to make things sound like they were your idea.

“I’ll talk to him, Ursula.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, sure, I mean, you and I are friends, so I guess I can do this for you.”

“Thanks. Make sure to yell at him a little bit?”

Ben laughed, “Just a little bit, then.”


	13. Family

“Hey Ursula, can I come in?” Tai called from outside her door.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Hey. Umm, we need to talk.”

“Okay, sure sit down,” Ursula patted the bed next to her, without looking up from her computer.

Tai sat down and waited. “What are you doing?” Tai asked. No response. “Earth to Ursula!”

“What?” she asked, finally looking up at him. “Sorry, I’m just editing some stuff, trying to get it ready and everything.”

“You know everything already looks perfect,” Tai said, eyebrows raised.

“I don’t know that,” Ursula countered.

“What’s going on with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean every night for the past five days you’ve been spending all your time editing, you’re more irritable now, you never want to hang out, everyone’s concerned.”

“Don’t be.”

“Ursula, did we do something?”

“What? No. This has nothing to do with you guys, don’t worry, you’re still as amazing as ever.”

“Okay, so what’s going on? You were so happy like a week ago, and now you’re all mopey. Do you want to go home?”

Ursula just stared at the wall for a minute.

“What does that mean to you?” she asked. “What does home mean to you?”

“New Zealand, I guess.”

“Okay, but you’ve been gone for several months, it’s not going to be the same home when you go back.”

“Sure, parts of it will be different, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be home.”

“Nothing ever feels like home to me.”

“Huh?”

“Like I spent my entire life in New Zealand, never feeling at home. I have family living everywhere, but most of them are in China and Japan. When I’m in New Zealand, none of my friends understand what it’s like to be living in a country that isn’t where your parents or from, or they don’t understand what it’s like to be mixed but not in the “good way” like I’m not half white. And when I’m in China or Japan, my family and friends there don’t understand what it’s like living away from your culture. These two places that are supposed to be home, they don’t feel like home.”

Tai was silent for a while, taking this in, then, “Home is where your family is. And not just like blood relatives and stuff, but like the family you choose. Your closest friends and your mentors that have helped you. They’re not always perfect, they won’t always understand you, but they are not you. Everyone’s experience is different, that’s what makes everything so interesting.”

Ursula sighed, “But, like I said, we’ve been gone for several months. Things aren’t going to be the same. My friends, these close friends, the ones I’ve chosen to be my family, they’re doing things without me. When they need me, I’m not there for them anymore, I can’t be, I’m here, miles and miles away with no way of transporting myself back for an evening. They’re not going to be my family by the time I get back, they’ll have all these inside jokes, or they’ll make new friends and stop hanging out. It won’t be home.”

“Ursula, if you care about them and they care about you, it will feel like home. It’ll be weird for a while, sure. But you’ll get it back, if you want to. What brought this on, anyway?”

“One of my friends broke the heart of one of my best friends.”

“Okay? So what?”

“I’m not there to fix things.”

“Why do you need to fix their problems?”

“Because that’s what I’ve always done. They don’t know that, though, I just fix them without anyone really knowing.”

“How do you-you know what, I’m not sure I want to know. Ursula, you don’t need to fix other people’s problems. I’m sure they can figure it out.”

“Yeah, and when they do, they won’t need me anymore. I know this sounds ridiculous, b-”

“It doesn’t sound ridiculous, I get it, you like feeling needed. It’s much better to feel wanted, though. They don’t have to need you to want to be your friend.”

“Maybe that’s true.”

“It is.”

“Thanks Tai.”

“Great, so does that mean that you’ll come out with us tonight?”

“I have to finish editing these-”

“No, you really don’t.”

“Just give me five minutes.”

“Okay fine, but if you’re not out in five minutes-”

“I will be.”


	14. Disgusted

“I can’t believe it’s been six months,” Ursula was propped up on her bed, talking to Hero.

“I can. Nothing’s the same without you here.”

“Things would have changed even if I was there.”

“I guess that’s true.”

“So, what’s going on there now?”

“Well, you know Balthy and Pedro got back together or whatever, right?”

“Yeah, what happened with that? Ben told me he talked to Pedro, but he didn’t really give me any details.”

“Pedro remembered Ben’s olives video from last year. You remember, the one about how girls and olives are the same and are both an acquired taste? I’m not really sure what was going on with that olives thing. All I know is Pedro is still confused about being bisexual, and he’s starting to realize that he had all these crushes on guys that he wasn’t even aware of. Still has them, apparently. He got all upset because he thought he felt like it wasn’t fair to Balthy going out with a guy that’s still figuring things out.”

“That sounds…confusing.”

“It is. At least they’re working it out. They’re taking it slow, and Balthy’s being super understanding. They’re working things out. I heard something about polyamory somewhere in there? I’m not really sure what that means.”

“It means someone’s in love with two people at once.”

Hero laughed, “I knew _that,_ come on, we learned about half these words together. I mean I don’t know what that means for them.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry.”

“So, tell me what’s going on with you?”

“Everything’s fine, things are going really great, I think I might be working with the channel next year, but like from home. That way I can get a degree and work at the same time. I think it’ll be more open for me though, like they send me things to edit or they give me a story that’ll work on my time or something.”

“That’s cool! That’s really great actually. Maybe I can come with you when you’re doing your stories! Just for fun.”

“Yeah, I mean we haven’t worked out all of the details yet, but Zach’s pretty confident that I’m going to get that job. His family came up to visit him.”

“Oh yeah? What were they like?”

“Mhm, his wife and his twin daughters, they were really nice. Tai spent a little bit too much time joking around with them, they had so much fun bothering him. And Kyle took them to see a movie which they really enjoyed.”

“Mm”

“Maia and I took them out for ice cream the other day, excuse me, gelato, so that Zach and Mia, that’s his wife’s name, could have some alone time.”

“That’s nice.”

Ursula paused for a second, “Why do you always do that?”

“Do what?”

“Make that disgusted face whenever I talk about Tai or Kyle or Maia? Actually, why did you stop talking to me before? Before that thing happened?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Hero, you know what I’m talking about.”

Hero sighed, “Okay, fine. Before when I stopped talking to you, it was because of Meg.”

“Meg?”

“Yeah, she was really upset and heartbroken with you gone. She wasn’t over you and it was hard to keep acting like nothing was wrong, so I kind of just stopped talking to you.”

Ursula decided to trust Hero, although for some reason she felt like Hero wasn’t being completely honest, “Okay, I guess that’s fine, but what about the face you keep making?”

“What face? I’m not making a face.”

“Not right now, but every time I bring up my friends here you always make a face, like you’re really disgusted by something.”

“I do not!”

“You do too!”

“I do not!”

“What, are you guys five or something?” Beatrice asked walking into Hero’s room.

“Hey Beatrice! I was just telling Hero that she keeps making a face whenever I talk about my friends here.”

“And I was just telling Ursula that I do not make a face!”

“Hero, I think Ursula’s right, you won’t even l-”

“Beatrice!” Hero interrupted, looking offended.

“Sorry,” Bea mumbled.

“Wait, she won’t even what? You cannot leave me hanging like that.” Ursula asked.

“Yes she can, and she’s going to, isn’t she?” Hero asked, giving Bea a pointed look.

In response, Bea just walked out of the room.

“What the heck is going on, Hero?”

“Nothing.”

“Fine, if you don’t want to talk to me, don’t. I’m going to bed.”

“Wait, Ursula, no don’t go.”

“What?”

“Look, I’m sorry, I’m just not ready to talk about this yet, okay? But I still want to be friends. Your friends are fine, I’m sorry if I make faces when you talk about them, I still want to hear about them.”

Ursula sighed, “Okay, I guess I understand that. I really am tired, though, I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah, sure. Goodnight.”


	15. Clothes

“I need new clothes,” Maia exclaimed one evening after a long day of work.

“What’s wrong with the clothes you’re have?” Kyle asked.

“They’re starting to get old. Everything is starting to rip.”

“Starting to rip?” Tai asked, eyebrows raised. “I’m pretty sure you’ve been wearing holey jeans for the past month or so. And some of your shirts seem to have been destroyed by the weather. I’m not sure how they managed to withstand your antics.”

“Wading into water with a t-shirt on does not count as antics,” Maia pointed out.

“That’s true,” Ursula agreed. “Anyway, I think I need some new clothes too, we should go shopping.”

Maia groaned, “Do we have to go shopping?”

“You didn’t mind shopping last weekend when we went from shop to shop buying souvenirs,” Hannah cut in.

“I don’t mind shopping for souvenirs, I just hate shopping for clothes. You have to find stuff you like and then make sure it’s the right size and you start out with 50 things and end up buying like 3 because nothing looks right on you. The mannequins always make things look a million times better than they actually are. Plus buying pants is such a hassle, why do they even bother putting size labels on them? It’s not like they’re regulated at all.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Tai said.

“Yeah it is, that’s exactly what shopping is like,” Ursula replied. “Actually, I’m pretty sure that’s the reason why all the movies have girls going shopping all the time and show those scenes with all of them trying on clothes because we have to do that. It’s so difficult to find something that actually fits and is comfortable. And they change things all the time, like I really liked this pair of shorts and I went back to get another one and apparently they were no longer in style so they didn’t stock them. And good luck trying to find another pair of the same jeans if the first one rips. That brand suddenly won’t exist anymore.”

“Who cares, just find something different. It can’t be that bad,” Tai waved her off.

“Excuse me, find something different?” Hannah asked. “Do you know how hard it is to find a pair of jeans that fit? Like one that’s not too tight but also not too loose, because belts won’t help. Sizes are never the same, some jeans are too-”

“Okay, okay, I get it, it’s hard to find good jeans!” Tai said, hands up. “Why do you buy jeans then if they don’t fit?”

“They don’t really offer a whole lot of other pants. Unless I’m allowed to wear sweatpants to work.”

“I’m fairly certain no one cares what you wear to work,” Kyle offered. “You could come naked and Zach wouldn’t care as long as you got the work done.”

“…Okay, Ursula, Hannah, do you want to go shopping tomorrow?” Maia asked.


	16. Birthday

Ursula’s birthday had always been fairly low-key. She didn’t really like throwing huge parties. Usually she would go out to dinner with her friends and family. This year her family just called. Ursula and the crew went out for dinner like they did every once in a while, but they ordered a special dessert for her. Ursula didn’t feel like she was missing out on anything special. Her friends from New Zealand all called her or sent messages to wish her. Except Hero. There was no way Hero had forgotten Ursula’s birthday, it was more likely that she didn’t want to talk to her right now.

Ursula couldn’t ever remember getting into a fight with Hero before. They were always best friends, inseparable and unstoppable. They got into so much mischief together when they were kids. She remembered one time when Hero was about five and accidentally called 111, and her parents been so upset. And the time they made pizzas from scratch, using the ingredients to make a face on the pizza. They had even given it hair. (Ursula’s not sure where the photos from this disappeared to, but she knew she had them.) Hero and Ursula were so close they got to know each other’s families really well. Ursula remembered one time when Hero and Leo got into a fight, as siblings do, and Ursula sat there awkwardly not knowing what to do. That didn’t happen once both of them got older, though. Leo didn’t think Hero was so much of a bother after a while. Hero knew exactly which things to say to Ursula’s parents to make sure that they wouldn’t get on Ursula’s case about something.

Ursula remembered when Hero had come out to her as trans, and said that her parents had let her take puberty blockers very young and were super supportive. Hero was never worried that Ursula would reject her, but she had never really thought about coming out before. That was a little bit before Ursula figured out she was asexual.

They had never gotten into huge fights. It wasn’t like they never argued, of course they did, but they never had a time when they stopped talking to each other. They would get upset with each other, but they could never stop being best friends.

So what was going on now? Ursula couldn’t figure any of this out, all she knew was that she missed Hero a lot. Enough to make her stomach hurt, enough to want to go back home. But that felt silly, so she didn’t say anything about it. She could make it another five months. Even if she didn’t get to talk to Hero. She had other friends, she would make this work.


	17. Song

“What are you singing?” Maia asked, as they waited for their plane to land in Peru.

“Oh just a song,” Ursula shrugged it off.

“Really? I thought you were singing trees,” Maia responded sarcastically. “Yes, I know you’re singing a song, what song?”

“Something my friend made up.”

“Ah, Balthazar? Your musical genius friend?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“Is it one of the ones you filmed for your YouTube channel?”

“No, actually, this is a new one. They sent it to me for editing yesterday and it’s been stuck in my head since then.”

“Why are you editing their videos? I thought all your friends were trying to get better at editing?”

“They want me to overlay some video footage that I’ve gotten on this trip. I’m not really sure why.”

“Doesn’t the footage belong to the channel? I mean, you’re basically a full-time employee now, so I think you have to get permission before just putting it on the Internet.”

“Don’t worry, I talked to Zach first, and anyway I’m only using my personal footage for the video, so like the stuff I get when we go sightseeing or whatever. Mostly it’s just the tourists.”

“Your friends want a video of the tourists?”

“It goes with the song!”

“Okay, whatever you say.”

Truthfully, the reason why Ursula had the song stuck in her head was because it was about strangers. And currently, Ursula felt like a stranger. A stranger to her friend group. She and Balthazar still talked, occasionally Pedro would jump in. But it was weird not seeing them everyday like she used to.

Ben was still telling her about birds on Tumblr, reblogging all of her pictures and talking her up, as he did. Whenever Ursula texted Bea, she would respond, but Bea had never been that good at long-distance communication. But it was weird not hearing them argue over the most mundane things. She almost wished she could overhear one of their silly fights every once in a while just to feel normal.

She and Meg communicated over Instagram, by liking each other’s photos, and sometimes Meg would send Ursula drunk texts, which was fairly normal for them. Meg had clearly moved on, she was really happy. And so was Ursula, honestly. She was glad they were back to being friends. Actually out of everyone, Meg was probably the only one with whom Ursula still had the same relationship as before.

Especially now that there were all these issues with Hero. If she was being honest with herself, this was most of the reason for Ursula’s feeling like a stranger (Ursula had spent more time talking to Leo in the past month than she had Hero, which was more than a little weird). But Ursula was trying not to admit that to herself, regardless of her resolutions.

Everything also just felt so far away. It _was_ far away, obviously, but this was not just about the distance. It felt like they had all spent years apart instead of months. So much had happened to Ursula, she no longer felt like the same person. She wondered if her friends felt the same way.


	18. Shopping

Ursula never liked shopping that much. It was too time-consuming and she never ended up buying much anyway. It never seemed worth it to leave the house for two hours only to come back home with maybe one shirt. The only time Ursula went shopping and enjoyed it was when she was buying things for other people. Taking a trip around the world meant that she had to bring back tons of souvenirs. Ursula wasn’t a huge fan of any specific souvenirs, and since she basically got to take postcard pictures herself, she decided not to buy anything for herself. Instead, she tried to look for unique things for her parents, stuff that they would want around the house, but was small enough to fit into her suitcase. She had a couple of snow globes and tiny, decorative plates. Her friends were getting some really interesting things as well, all from different countries of course: a hand-carved bird for Ben, an instrument for Balthazar (Ursula had no idea what it was called, but it was about the size of her arm and had strings, so she assumed Balthy could figure it out), some jewelry for Meg (Ursula had been assured that they were definitely unique), a couple of different hand-woven clothes for Hero. She was still struggling with what to buy Bea and Pedro, which is why she had spent her last few free days running around trying to find souvenirs for them. The problem was that she had no idea what they would like. It wasn’t that they weren’t interested in anything, but everything that Ursula saw looked too impersonal or like something she could find in New Zealand. The frustration of not being able to find something reminded Ursula of why she hated shopping so much. Oh well, maybe she’d find something later.


	19. Letter

“Hey Ursula! How are you? Are you ready to come back yet?” Balthy grinned into the computer camera.

“I still have three months before I get home, you know,” Ursula replied dryly.

“I know, but you’ve been gone for nine months, aren’t you even a little bit homesick?” they asked.

“I mean, kind of? But I also got over the homesickness stuff. It still comes back every once in a while, but I’m pretty happy,” Ursula replied.

“Well that’s good at least.”

“At least?” Ursula asked. “What’s that supposed to mean? That something else isn’t good? Are you and Pedro fighting or something? Don’t tell me that jerk broke it off again.”

“Whoa! Ursula, that’s not fair at all. It’s not my fault I was all confused!” Pedro called from somewhere, likely behind the computer.

“Sorry, you know that I defend my best friend first,” Ursula called back.

“S’okay, I guess I kind of deserved it.”

“Anyway, Pedro and I are doing just fine, thank you very much. He does, however, kind of have a girlfriend too?” Balthazar said.

“Oh. Who?” Ursula asked, curiously.

“Oh, just some girl from uni named Natalie. I’ll introduce you when you get back.”

“Sounds good. So if you and Pedro are fine, then what’s wrong?”

“Really? You don’t know,” Pedro asked, finally sticking his head into the camera’s view. “I mean, you should know. Seeing as it is kind of your fault.”

“My fault? What’s my fault? I’m not even there, what could I have possibly done?”

“Umm, not respond to Hero’s letter,” Pedro said, accusingly.

“What letter?”

“You know, the letter she sent you like two weeks ago.”

“I never got a letter, Pedro.”

“It was when you were in the Amazon! She sent it ahead to the next hotel you were staying at specifically so you wouldn’t miss it!”

“But I didn’t get it, so obviously it missed me anyway,” Ursula responded, annoyed that he didn’t seem to believe her.

“Wait, wait, Pedro, if she says she didn’t get the letter, she didn’t get the letter. That explains why you never brought it up,” Balthazar said.

“Why would I bring up Hero’s letter to you, though?” Ursula looked so confused.

“Oh, Hero only bared her so-”

“Pedro! Why don’t you go tell Hero that Ursula never got her letter,” Balthazar interrupted, giving him a pointed look.

Pedro huffed, “Fine!”

“Look, Ursula, I think you and Hero need to talk things out. Personally I think that would be better done with you here, but either way it doesn’t matter. Just talk to Hero.”

“Why was the letter so important?” Ursula asked.

“That’s not really for me to say. Just ask Hero, okay?” Balthazar pleaded.

“Okay."


	20. Words

“Can you believe this trip is almost over?” Kyle asked, as they sat down next to Ursula with a cup of coffee in hand.

“Not really. I feel like it’s only been a few days, but really it’s been 10 months. 10 months! I have been away from home for 10 months,” Ursula sighed, staring across the room at a wall.

“What’s wrong with you?” Tai asked.

“I think she’s homesick or something,” Maia replied.

“Not homesick, just, you know, trying to figure out how the time went by so fast.”

“That’s how it always feels,” Maia sympathized. “It never gets easier.”

“Thanks,” Ursula said sarcastically.

“I think something else is bothering you,” Tai squinted at Ursula. “My guess is it has something to do with that Hero girl.”

“Everything _is_ always about Hero with Ursula,” Kyle agreed.

“Mhm, I mean it almost seems like that girl-” Maia started.

“Would you guys stop,” Ursula cut in, exasperated. “I have not talked about her that much on this trip.”

“That’s true,” Maia nodded. “More like you just get incredibly moody every time she stops talking to you.”

“You do a pretty good job of hiding it, though,” Tai said. “I mean, it’s been 10 months and you only really got annoying like 3 times? 4 times? That’s not bad at all.”

“Are you saying that she should be hiding her feelings?” Kyle asked, appalled. “I’d much rather her get angry. At least then I could yell at her for being silly.”

“Who’s being silly?” Hannah had finally made her way to the breakfast table.

“Ursula, obviously,” Tai responded.

“Oh, okay. For a second there I thought you were talking about Patrick again,” said Hannah.

“Oh no, we would never call him silly. We never refer to him as anything other than ‘that jerkface.’ He deserves nothing more,” Maia said making a face.

“Oh come on, he’s not _that_ bad,” Hannah replied in his defense.

“Yes, he is,” Ursula said. “It’s been 10 months and not for one single day has he ever been nice to me. I have never done anything to deserve that kind of hatred from him.”

“Ursula is better than the rest of us, she actually tries to be nice to him. She’s the only one who hasn’t tried to get him fired. Outside of you, of course,” Kyle looked at Hannah.

“Okay, fine, you win, he is that bad. I just kind of feel bad that he doesn’t have any friends.”

Tai snorted, “That’s his own fault.”

“Back to what we were talking about before,” Maia interjected, then turned to Ursula. “So, what’s going on with you and Hero?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh come on, I thought you guys were going try and talk it out or something,” Kyle added.

“I tried! I talked to her, tried to ask her why she was so upset and she said that she wanted to wait to talk about it. Until I was back in New Zealand. She said something like the words will mean more if we say them face-to-face. I have no idea what she’s talking about,” Ursula shook her head.

“Obviously she’s in lo-” Tai began.

“Misses you! Obviously she misses you,” Maia shouted, trying to drown out Tai’s voice.

“If she misses me so much, why won’t she talk to me?” Ursula stared at her plate. No one knew how to go from there.

“It’ll work out,” Hannah put her hand over Ursula’s.

“Thanks,” Ursula forced out a smile.


	21. Food

Ursula and Kyle were sitting in their room after their second-to-last airplane ride of the year.

“Can you believe it’s been pretty much a whole year?” Kyle asked, sitting down on their bed.

“Not really. Two weeks and we’re back home,” Ursula replied.

“Yup. What are you looking forward to when you get back?”

“The food. Not that having interesting food from different countries hasn’t been fun and interesting and delicious. But I miss having normal food.”

“I get that. I miss staying in place. We move around so much, never in one place for more than a week. I just want to go home and stay home for three months.”

“Don’t you have to go back to uni?”

“Not really. I got offered a job!”

“Wait, really? Why is this the first I’m hearing of this?” Ursula asked, fake-offended.

“I just found out. They’re going to let me get the rest of my degree with them, like a work-study type thing. They’ve worked it all out with the university.”

“That’s cool, I didn’t know that was possible.”

“Neither did I, but apparently it is. Plus their office is really close to my parents’ house, so I don’t have to find a place to live or anything. Then once I finish up my degree, they have positions everywhere, so they might send me somewhere.”

“That’s awesome! Your parents are cool with that?”

“Yeah, I mean I’ll have a degree in business with experience in both business and photography, it looks like things are going to be great!”

Ursula stared at her hands for a minute. “Are we going to hang out after this? I mean, we’ve known each other for a year. Is this it?”

Kyle looked over at her, a little shocked. “Of course this isn’t it. You’ve been Skyping with your friends throughout the year, we can do that! And Auckland and Wellington aren’t _that_ far away, we can visit each other.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Ursula, we’re going to end up seeing each other again. Especially now that we’re in the same business. There’ll be conferences and stuff. Don’t worry about that.”

Ursula smiled, “You’re right. Sorry I’m being silly.”

“Alright, let’s go, Zach will throw a fit if we’re late for shooting.”


	22. Bath

“Everyone out! Right now! Come on, come on, come on!” Zach shouted, pounding on everyone’s doors. “Emergency meeting!”

“What the heck, Zach!” Maia answered angrily, covering her ears with her hands. “You know I’m sensitive to loud noises!”

“Yeah, seriously, Zach, I was taking a bath. This couldn’t have waited five minutes?” Tai had a towel wrapped around him.

“I’m sorry, guys, I’m just a little frustrated at the moment,” Zach replied. It was clear Zach was tired, he looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, which may have been the truth.

“Zach, don’t worry about it. We’re all here, do we want to have this meeting out in the hall, or do you want to go downstairs or something?” Ursula stepped in, sympathetically. She felt awful for Zach. He had been sick the last few weeks, although only Ursula had noticed. He had tried to work through it, but it was clear that that hadn’t worked out.

“No, no, here is fine. So, I know we were supposed to spend the last week of the year in Madagascar, but our contacts there have cancelled on us. I apologize, but this is it. The end of the trip. I wouldn’t have called you out here in a hurry, but unfortunately now the channel is calling me back to New Zealand for the last week. Which means I’m leaving in about 4 hours.”

“What” Kyle asked. “That’s absolutely ridiculous, can they even do that?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Zach responded. “You guys will still get paid for the last week, although it will be slightly less, I hope that’s okay.”

“That’s not okay,” Patrick argued. “We expect a certain amount for every week and-”

“He can have my share,” Ursula was quick to jump in. “Now that I’m with the channel for real, I’m not too worried about the last week’s pay.”

Zach smiled at her gratefully, “Awesome, so we figured out the flights back to New Zealand, they’re booked and I’ve got your tickets here. You won’t leave until tomorrow, but I won’t be here. I’m a little sorry we didn’t get to do our goodbye dinner, but there’s really nothing I can do about that now.” He stared passing around the tickets. “I guess you can call your families and friends and tell them that you’ll be back a little early.”

“Is that all?” Hannah asked.

“Yeah. If you have any problems with anything, come talk to me, I’ll help you figure it out,” Zach said. “Okay, thanks for being great you guys! I’ll see you when you come back to work.”

And with that, everyone dispersed back to their rooms. Ursula stared at the ticket in her hand. She was going home. Tomorrow.


	23. Hero

Hero had gotten the news from Balthazar. Ursula was going to be back home tonight. She was asking not to be disturbed that night and that they could all hang out tomorrow, but she wanted to stay home with her family tonight.

Balthazar was sure to tell Hero that they had gotten the call from Ursula’s parents, and Ursula hadn’t suddenly forgotten about her.

Hero was preparing herself to see Ursula again. It had been a year. Well, almost a year. She was debating what the best plan was. Should she go over to her house first thing in the morning? Confess her feelings? Should she wait for Ursula to call her? Should she pretend nothing had changed? No, that would be impossible, Ursula already knew Hero was upset with her. She would never agree to forget about it.

Although, now that Hero thought about it, it was unlikely Ursula would keep a grudge against her. They were best friends after all. Maybe she could just pretend like everything was normal. Maybe she would just tell her that this was all an overreaction and that they could go back to being friends and Hero would just have to learn that Ursula wasn’t always going to be there. But Hero was pretty sure that wouldn’t work for her. She wasn’t sure if she could handle just being friends. And obviously the distance hadn’t done anything for her feelings.

Instead of thinking too hard about this, Hero decided to clean her room. And then Bea’s room. Followed by pretty much the rest of the house. Her parents pretty much left her alone when she did this, realizing that she was probably not in the mood to talk.

Then Hero ended up making cookies. Snickerdoodles and dark chocolate chip, which were Ursula’s favorite. Maybe she would take them whenever she saw Ursula again. Hero ended up spending the whole day procrastinating on thinking about what she would do next time she saw Ursula when the phone rang.

“Hey Hero!” Balthazar’s cheery voice was on the other end.

“Hey Balthy, what’s up?”

“So we’re having a party tomorrow for lunch, like a welcome back thing for Ursula. Planning on doing it at Pedro’s place. You free?”

“Yup, I’ll be there. I’ve already made cookies, is it cool if I bring them?”

“Yeah, sure, that sounds great, what kind?”

“Snickerdoodles and dark chocolate chip.”

“Yum.”

“Umm, Balthazar?” Hero started.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Nothing, never mind.”

“Are you sure? You can talk to me if you want. Or you don’t have to.”

Hero didn’t respond for a minute, then spoke softly, “Do you think she hates me?”

“Ursula? Hate you? Don’t be ridiculous, of course not.”

“But I screwed things up, I stopped talking to her, I-”

“Ursula doesn’t hate you. She’s still your best friend. She might be a little upset, but she doesn’t hate you.”

“Okay.”

“It’s going to be fine, just, you know, talk to her. She’s very understanding. You know that.”

“Yeah, logically I know that, but it’s hard with the emotions in the way.”

“I know. But, just try to remember that.”

“I will. Thanks Balthazar. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Seeya.”


	24. Pizza

“It smells delicious in here,” Ursula said as she stepped into the house.

“Good! We were hoping you missed pizza a little bit!” Ben responded, as enthusiastic as always. “Okay, come in, come in, get some food, then you can tell us about everything!”

“Ben! Stop hounding her,” came Beatrice’s voice from the dining room.

“I’m not hounding her!” Ben argued.

“I missed this,” Ursula whispered to Balthazar, as the two of them continued to bicker.

“Really? Great, you can hang out with them for the next two weeks, take them off of our hands,” Pedro cut in, unfortunately loud enough for Bea and Ben to hear.

“What?!” Bea and Ben yelled as they turned on Pedro.

“Okay, that’s enough!” Meg yelled. “Would you people move so I can hug my friend that I haven’t seen in a year?”

“Hey Meg!” Ursula smiled.

“Hey yourself!” Meg replied as she launched herself at Ursula. She stepped back and a tall guy stepped forward, arm reached out for a handshake, “This is my boyfriend, Jack.”

“Nice to meet you, Jack.”

“Same here. Sorry to barge in on your party.”

“No, no it’s fine, I wanted to meet you anyway, so that worked out perfectly,” Ursula smiled.

“Oh! Natalie is coming too, she said she’d be a bit late,” Balthazar said suddenly.

“Great! Can I have some pizza now? I’m starving,” Ursula said as she walked towards the kitchen.

Everything turned out really great. Ursula didn’t have a hard time getting back into the swing of things with her friends. Ben made her talk about the birds she saw, which meant that he actually did most of the talking, which was more than okay with Ursula. Still, after a while, Bea told him to shut up and everyone else asked her questions. Ursula ended up talking about everything under the sun, from the food to the different cultures, to her experiences with photography. Balthazar had the least questions, since they kept in touch the most. Hero, although she did ask questions, was more shy than usual. Ursula knew they were going to have to fix that. Eventually, the questions ran out. “Let’s watch a movie!” Natalie said.

Pedro agreed, and as everyone debated which movie to watch, Balthazar whispered, “Hey, Ursula, do you want to go upstairs? Talk a little?”

Ursula nodded and the two of them snuck up the stairs and made their way into the guest room.

“So, what’s up?” Ursula asked.

“Not much, I thought you might want to talk about the Hero situation a little. Have you talked to her at all?”

“No, it hasn’t exactly been easy. She’s been avoiding me.”

“Okay, so what’s the plan?”

“I don’t exactly have one.”

“Look, I think you should just talk to her.”

“Okay, and say what?”

“Ask her what’s going on, you know why she’s upset with you and stuff.”

“I _know_ why she’s avoiding me.”

“You do?” Balthazar looked very confused. “How?”

“Oh, come on, it hasn’t exactly been difficult to figure out. She likes me. That sounds so juvenile, but you know what I mean.”

“What do you mean that wasn’t difficult to figure out?” Balthazar actually looked offended.

“Come on, I’m not oblivious. I’m not Bea or Ben. For that matter, I’m not you or Pedro.”

“Oh, come on, we were not that bad! It took you a while to figure it out, though, didn’t it?”

“Not really. I just didn’t want to say it out loud. Or even really think it. It’s like believing it to be true makes it more real. I know that’s ridiculous and completely illogical, but it’s true.”

“Okay, so you knew Hero liked you. Do you like her?” Balthazar asked.

“I mean, I don’t know, I guess?” Ursula said, then saw the knowing look on Balthazar’s face. “Okay, fine, yes, I like her, okay? You happy now?”

“Yes, very. For how long?”

“I’m not sure, I don’t have an exact date on this or anything!”

“Why didn’t you say anything before? The two of you didn’t have to be miserable for a whole year!”

“Right because getting together with my best friend makes so much sense! Look, I just had my heart broken. Meg and I were on rocky ground for a long time. It took us over six months to get back to normal. What if that happens to me and Hero?”

“It’s been a year, you should be over Meg by now.”

“That’s not how relationships work. Everyone gets over their past partners at different rates. And anyway, I am over her. That’s not the point.”

“What is the point? That you think you and Hero are going to ruin your friendship if you get into a relationship?”

“Yeah, exactly that.”

“Guess what, Ursula? Not being in a relationship is already ruining your friendship. If you want to be friends, either you two are going to need to really take some time apart to get over each other and then try to come back to being friends, or you’re going to have to try and be friends while being miserable that you’re not in a relationship. Honestly, I think you two would be in a better position if you would just date already.”

Ursula just stared at Balthazar, jaw slightly open.

“Hello? Earth to Ursula!”

“When did you get so wise?”

“I’ve always been this wise.”

“No you haven’t.”

“Yes I have, you just forgot when you left for your trip.”

“Mhm, whatever you say.”

“Okay, so are you going to talk to Hero or what?”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s go back downstairs.”

Ursula ended up asking Hero to get coffee with her Saturday. She hoped everything would work out like Balthazar had said.


	25. Coffee

“So, how have you been?” Hero asked.

Ursula took a long sip of her iced coffee. “Fine, I guess. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“That’s good.” Pause. “How are your friends from the trip?”

“I assume they’re all okay, I haven’t talked to them yet. We decided a week of no talking would be good for all of us after spending a year together.”

“That’s…logical.”

“Mm. So, how about you?”

“I’m alright, you know, handling things.”

“Yeah? How was your last year of school?”

“Painful.” Hero saw Ursula’s look of concern. “It wasn’t that bad. But all of you guys left, and I mean I have friends in my year, but you guys were the people I really hung out with. It was just really different.”

“That makes sense. But we’ll all be together at uni this year.”

“Yeah, have you decided on roommates?”

“Not really, I haven’t exactly had time yet.”

“Me either.” Another pause. “Look, Ursula, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, no it’s not. And don’t tell me it is, let me finish first. I’m sorry I pulled away from you. But it was hard, seeing you so happy, seeing you have so much fun while you were gone. You were making new friends and you never ran out of things to talk about and you seemed different. Like being away from here, being away from me, was making you happier. I know it sounds ridiculous. But Balthy and Pedro were together, and Bea and Ben, so it wasn’t that weird when they left or hung out with each other instead of with me. You and Meg dated, but it wasn’t weird. You didn’t really act like you were dating, so it didn’t really feel like a change. But then you guys broke up and you were miserable. Both of you. And then you just left.”

“You knew I was leaving! It’s not like I just up and left without telling anyone!”

“Yeah, but it still felt like you were leaving me.”

“Bea was still here.”

“But you weren’t, you’re my best friend, and you weren’t here. Look, none of this excuses anything, I shouldn’t have gotten so upset with you. Obviously you are allowed to leave. I just wasn’t ready for it.”

“It’s fine, Hero. I’m here now, and we can go back to normal.”

“Yeah, speaking of which, we’re having another New Year’s Party. It’s going to be at our house this year.”

“Cool.”

“Alright, you wanna get out of here? We can go to the park?”

“Sure.”


	26. Dancing

“Yes!  I love this song!” someone yelled from the “dance floor”.  It was impossible to tell whom, with all of the people in the way.  
“Me too!” Benedick called out, excited as ever, and then turned back to where Ursula and Hero were standing in the kitchen.  “Seriously, Hero, you’ve got some great taste in music.”  
“Thanks!  I didn’t think this many people were going to show up,” she replied.  
“Please!  As much as I love you guys, we wanted a big New Year’s party instead of a small one like last year.  And obviously I made tons of friends in uni, so I had to invite them,” Ben said, waving his hands all over the place.  
“Stop lying, dickface.  You and I both know most of these people are Pedro’s friends.  Anyway, it’s not like you’re very good at making friends.  I’m surprised you have any,” Bea had found her way over to Ben, as usual.  
“Hey!  I know I have more friends than you!”  
“You keep telling yourself that.”  
“Oh hush you two,” Hero interrupted.  “Why don’t you go flirt somewhere else?”  
“We are not flirting!” Bea said indignantly.  
“Sure you’re not,” Ursula smiled.  “Hero, do you want to dance?”  
“Yes!  Anything to get me away from these two.”  
Hero hadn’t wanted to have a party for so many people, but she hadn’t been able to say no when the others asked to invite friends.  She did make them promise that they would do dinner as a small group and then the party would be for everyone.  Less food to prepare, it was easier for everyone.  Ursula had backed her up on this, saying that even if she and Bea helped Hero, it would easily take the entire day to cook and that wasn’t fair.  Hero was so glad Ursula was back.


	27. What Happened at Midnight

The night was going so well. Bea and Ben kept teasing each other all night. Pedro and Balthazar were acting as the cute couple (Natalie had gone on vacation with her parents). Verges and Dogberry had managed to find Tibbles and were following John around insisting that he take responsibility for his cat. And Meg had disappeared, presumably upstairs, with her boyfriend Jack (not to Hero’s room, though, that still brought back too many terrible memories). As for Hero and Ursula, well they were having a ton of fun, just being silly, as if nothing had changed. Maybe everything really was back to normal.

A half-hour before midnight, Ursula excused herself to go to the restroom. One of Pedro’s friends walked up to her and started talking. Hero tried to give him very clear signs that she was interested. It didn’t work.

Twenty minutes to midnight, Hero was searching around the room for Ursula, trying to get her escape route. She spotted Bea instead, standing alone and excused herself, saying that her cousin clearly needed her.

Fifteen minutes to midnight Ben walked over with two glasses of champagne, “Oh! Sorry Hero! I’ll go grab another glass for you!”

“No, that’s okay Ben, I’ll go get one myself.”

Ten minutes to midnight, Hero was standing by herself in the middle of the room, watching the TV screen where she could see the time drop down, minute by minute.

Five minutes to midnight, another of Pedro’s friends tried to hit on Hero. Hero shook this one off more quickly, saying she had a cold and didn’t want to pass it on, and then proceeding to cough straight on him. He made a disgusted face and walked off.

Two minutes to midnight and Ursula still was nowhere to be found. Hero was starting to worry. John came up to her and said, “Hey. Wanna be my New Year’s buddy? No kissing, I promise, just like a hug or something?”

“Sure,” Hero responded, distractedly.

“10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! Happy New Year!”

As Hero turned to hug John, she spotted Ursula. Kissing another girl. Her heart shattered.


	28. Baking

An hour after midnight, the party had finally wound down. The uni friends trickled out slowly, but everyone else stayed to help clean up. Hero was standing by the sink, washing dishes when Ursula walked up to her.

“Hey, Hero, I’m going to head out if that’s alright.”

Hero didn’t acknowledge her.

“Hero, did you hear me?”

Still no response.

“Hello! Earth to Hero!”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Hero mumbled, without turning around

“We on for our baking party tomorrow? I have to pick Balthazar up, so we’ll be here around 11?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Hero responded, totally immersed in her dish-washing.

Ursula was totally confused. “Is everything okay?”

Hero made a noncommittal noise.

“Hero, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Obviously it’s not nothing if you won’t say goodbye to me. I thought things were back to normal! What’s wrong now?”

Hero turned at this, and Ursula saw her face was streaked with tears. “I thought things were back to normal too, Ursula. But they’re not. You should leave.”

“What happened? Did I do something?”

“Come on. You know what you did. And I get it, you’re allowed to fall in love with other people, you’re allowed to kiss whomever you’d like. I thought I could handle it, but I can’t, okay?”

“What are you talking about, Hero?”

“You were kissing someone at midnight! Some random uni girl! And silly me I thought you were still into Meg. I was trying to give you space, to get over her, but here you are making out with some other girl.”

Ursula stared at her, open-mouthed for a second, “Hero, it’s not what you think it is.”

“Don’t.”

“Hero, let me explain!”

“I don’t want an explanation!” Hero shouted, much louder than usual.

Ursula was shocked into silence.

“You’re allowed to do what you want.   You don’t need to explain. Honestly you shouldn’t have to explain. But I can’t do this. I can’t do this anymore. I-I need you to not be my friend right now, okay? Just go home, Ursula. Go home and maybe cancel the baking party. I don’t think I’m up for that.”

“Hero-”

“Seriously, please go.”

Ursula stood there for a few more seconds before turning and leaving. She almost bumped into Bea, who gave her a mournful smile and said, “She’ll come around eventually, don’t worry. Thanks for helping Maria out by the way.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure I can wait for eventually,” Ursula said, and walked out, shutting the door behind her. It wasn’t until she got home that the tears came out.


	29. Sigh

A week later, Ursula was sitting in Balthazar’s room, camera by her side, waiting for them to be ready to record their latest song. Ursula kept urging Balthazar to just let her record, but Balthazar kept saying, “No, I keep messing up this one line, if I can’t get it right now, I’m not going to get it right on the recording and I don’t want to have to record it multiple times.”

Ursula didn’t understand. The line sounded fine. She was just playing on her phone waiting, getting bored, when suddenly Balthazar put their ukulele down.

“Why’d you stop?” Ursula said, looking up.

“Why haven’t you talked to Hero yet?”

“We’re not talking about this.”

“Yeah, we are. What happened on New Years?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Obviously it does because you and Hero are no longer talking.”

Ursula didn’t respond.

“Come on, Ursula, you can’t just ignore the problem.”

“Yeah, I can, it worked before, it’ll work again.”

“It worked because you weren’t even in the country! You cannot avoid Hero now. You two are planning on going to the same university, you’re both in love with each other, and you can’t pretend nothing is wrong.”

“Why do you even care? It’s not like we’re making you choose between us. You don’t have to worry about me making snarky comments to Hero in case we ever meet up. This shouldn’t be a problem for you.”

“You’re my best friend and you’re unhappy, obviously this is a problem for me.”

Ursula shook her head and went back to her phone.

Balthazar sighed. “Look at least tell me what happened at the party.”

“You already know.”

“All I know is you kissed some girl at midnight. Melanie? Mary?”

“Maria.”

“Whatever, point is, I have no idea why you kissed her. Or why you haven’t told Hero your reasoning.”

Ursula just stared at the wall. Balthazar was afraid that she wasn’t going to talk when, “Hero doesn’t want to know. I tried to call her. I know, you don’t believe me, but I did. I tried to explain it to her. I texted her everything that happened at the party, she told me she had Bea delete the texts and not to text her anymore. I know that sounds totally ridiculous, Hero doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would do that, right? But I think she really just wants to get over me, she doesn’t want a repeat of the birthday incident. Bea says I need to give her time. So I’m trying. I really don’t know what else to do.”

“Why don’t you start by telling me what happened at the party. You and Hero were joined at the hip all night. Or at least I thought you were.”

“We were, but around 11:30, I went to the bathroom. When I came out there were two girls fighting. Maria and her ex. Maria, well, she was trying to get her ex to stop bothering her. Apparently it was a bad breakup or something and the ex keeps saying that she’ll never find anyone better than her and it just, I had to stop it somehow. I pretended to be her girlfriend for the night. The ex, she had just arrived, she hadn’t seen me and Hero all night, so she didn’t know any better. I was trying to help Maria out.”

“Why didn’t you tell Hero before midnight? Or after midnight?”

“Honestly, I was too busy keeping that girl away from Maria before midnight. And then afterward, we were all cleaning up and getting people to leave and Hero was busy. I kept trying to get her attention, but she was avoiding me. Although I didn’t realize it at the time.”

Balthazar raised his eyebrows.

“It wasn’t like I was trying to hide this from Hero! Come on, Balthazar, you know me better than that. It’s always better to have the truth out on the table. And then by the time we were done cleaning, I was exhausted, I just wanted to go home, I figured I could explain it later, but Hero didn’t even give me a chance.”

Ursula leaned her head back against the wall, closed her eyes, and sighed. She was too absorbed in her own thoughts to hear the door open and footsteps walking towards her. She did hear someone sit down next to her, but she didn’t open her eyes until warm arms wrapped around her.

“Sorry,” Hero whispered, looking mournfully at Ursula. “I should’ve let you explain to me.”

Ursula shook her head and smiled and turned to return the embrace. “It’s okay.”


	30. Confession

Ursula didn’t end up recording Balthazar’s song that day. She and Hero were basically shooed out of the house and told to “talk things out”.

“Why aren’t you mad at me?” Hero asked Ursula, as they walked over to Ursula’s house. “Not that I want you to be mad at me.”

“I’m just, I’m too tired to be mad at you.”

Hero nodded slowly, “I guess that’s my fault too, huh?”

“What’s your fault?”

“That you’re tired? I made you worry too much about our friendship and I kept being ridiculous and not talking to you.”

“Hero, it’s not your fault if I worry.”

“I’ve been taking this too far all year, though.”

Ursula abruptly swung around to face Hero, “Hero, it’s fine. I get it. You may not have had a reason to be jealous or whatever, but sometimes you don’t need a reason. Things get to you, and it’s fine. Don’t dwell on the past, just make sure to communicate better in the future, okay?”

“You would think I would know that already.”

“Just because you know something doesn’t mean you’ll follow through with it. I mean I know that eating too many cookies is bad for my health, but I eat too many cookies anyway.”

“Are you hungry?” Hero laughed. “You only ever talk about cookies when you’re hungry.”

“Why do you know me so well?” Ursula smiled as she opened the door to her house. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”

“Sure.”

“Alright, cool,” she said before calling out to her mom that Hero was here and staying for dinner. She waited for the okay before heading up to her room. Once there, it was like back to normal, Hero and Ursula were talking about everything under the sun, from politics to school to movies. The pauses in the conversation were comfortable.

“Hey Ursula?” Hero said after a minute of just staring at the ceiling.

“Yeah?”

“I have a confession to make.” Hero sat up, so Ursula did too.

“Okay, go for it.”

“I like you.”

“Really? Never would’ve guessed,” Ursula laughed.

“No, but we were talking about communicating better, and I just thought-”

“I know, I’m just kidding, you know, trying to make this less awkward than it is?"

Hero sighed with relief. “So, what are we going to do about this.”

“Maybe we should try being in a relationship.”

“So girlfriends?”

“Yeah.”

“So, I guess we never really got to this part of our friendship, where we talk about how relationships work for us, you know, you being asexual and all, stop me if I’m starting to sound ignorant, but umm, there are things you don’t like to do and stuff, right?” Hero’s words were rushed and she was blushing.

“Everyone has things they don’t like to do, it’s a misconception that that only applies to asexuals. We should talk about it, though.”

“I, um, found this thing online, it’s called a Will/Want/Won’t list, I guess people use that to help them out?”

“Hero were you doing research without me?”

Hero put her head in her hands, “I’m sorry my crush got really out of hand, okay?”

Ursula laughed and wrapped her arms around Hero. “Your crush got so out of hand you took to researching asexuality? That doesn’t seem so bad.”

“You’re laughing at my pain.”

“Stop being silly.”

“You stop being silly!” Hero laughed.

Another pause.

“Hey Hero?”

“Yeah?”

“I like you too.”


	31. Bleurgh

The gang was hanging out again, one last time before the school year started and everyone was too busy to have a pizza party at a moment’s notice. This time it was at Ben’s house, his mom had suddenly decided she didn’t like her son going to other people’s houses all the time and had insisted that he be the host this time.

“Would you two quit being so gross?” Bea asked, staring at Hero and Ursula.

“We’re not doing anything.” Hero said, confused. “We’re not even holding hands.”

“Yeah, but I know you two are thinking gross loving thoughts about each other and you need to stop,” Bea replied.

“Quit being ridiculous, Bea. We’re not half as bad as you and Ben were when you got together,” Ursula rolled her eyes.

“We were not that bad!” Ben argued. “You weren’t here when Pedro and Balthazar really got together, that was disgusting.”

“Why are you bringing us into this?” Pedro asked. “We want no part of this.”

“Oh do you speak for Balthazar now too?” Bea asked, turning on him.

“No, he doesn’t speak for me, I’m fully capable of speaking for myself, thank you very much. I agree, I want no part of this,” Balthazar cut in.

“Can we just watch the movie now?” Meg asked. “This conversation is boring me.”

“Our conversations always bore you, Meg,” Bea responded.

“Bea, be nice!” Hero said, poking her cousin in the arm.

“Bea nice!” Ben yelled. “Yes! I got it before you, I win!”

As the conversation dissolved into silliness, Ursula laid her head down on Hero’s shoulder and closed her eyes.

“Can we stay here forever?” she whispered to Hero.

“We’d get bored eventually,” Hero whispered back.

“With Bea and Ben arguing like that over there? Never.”

Hero smiled. “You’ll get annoyed with them soon enough.”

“That’s why you’re around, to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

“Not for anything else?” Hero laughed.

“Nope, just so that I don’t get into arguments with Bea,” Ursula lifted her head and smiled.

“Eww are you two going to kiss?” Bea asked, pulling the two of them out of their reverie.

“Quit being a child, Beatrice! Let’s just watch this movie, okay?” Hero said. As the movie started and Pedro went to turn the lights off, Hero turned to Ursula, “We need to hang out alone later, okay?”

Ursula smiled and slipped her hand into Hero’s. “Sure.”


End file.
